Straightening the Back

Day 14: Just joined the TI blog tonight (but not the TI). Good to see your words smiling here. Thanks.This second week passed quickly. The TI marks autumn departing. It involves more struggling and fewer highs and lows. The additional prostrations etch the reality of the effort each morning. During the days, awakening to patterns of self importance arising in the mind and waves of silent resentment (7th and 9th precept work). Clicking off the TV after eating each evening, allowing the solitary silence to approach. Sitting two rounds in the evening requires patience. Each day rising in darkness, walking out to the car, meeting in the blackness, remarkable timeless star constellations – endlessly patient. This has not been an easy week, one full of commitment of yet another flavor. Gassho

Now here, No then, No there!

The positive impact of daily sitting is so profound that I am wishing that I could do an info-mercial and sell the idea to the world. As I sit in the lap of retirement luxury, having a bit less money (not so important) and much more time (all important) I am able to turn the telescope around and look back at all the years that I let things get in the way of disciplined practice and there were always lots of "things" lined up to do so: work, never ending educational pursuits, family responsibilities, recreation, occasionally less laudable and frequently, more inane distraction. How I would like to offer a magic key to all of the people who continue to toil and struggle in the fray of all this stuff but alas I can offer only the seeds of an info-mercial.


The gist of the message is; Just make and take time to sit, it is indescribably worth it. The TI is teaching me(once again) about the power of making a decision and a commitment. This is easier for me in my current stage of life but distractions abound and this three week period is serving to prove a point. The decision and the commitment put me in a stronger stance in the face of life pressures and I am more able to "get to the doing" of the right things. (Less likely to major in minor things:or as Roshi once said:"less apt to participate in activities that are less likely to lead to enlightenment."

This word of encouragement is meant for those that occupy some of the middle boxes of life. For those that aren't familiar with that frame-work of understanding the life journey; the boxes are: Pre-school; School, Work, Retirement and so on. Each phase and stage has its challenges, opportunities and pressures and the walls between categories are permeable and reversible. We go to school and we work, we work and we go to school. We work and then retire and we un-retire and return to work. The point of this rambleogue is that life is busy and complicated; so Don't just do something; "Sit There." (I wish I knew who said that)


Decide, commit, do!


I could say more but I will not.

Gratitude

I don’t know if it’s a product of the TI or just where I am in life but it feels really good to be here and now; present. Maybe it’s the music that I am listening here at my desk that helps to evoke emotion but thankfully this feeling of fullness is here. Gratitude was talked about a lot last night at the TI meeting and on a superficial level I have always found it easy to choose things throughout my day that I knows I am lucky to experience... but as Dana expressed at the meeting: to feel it inside of you is another thing all together. I don’t just hope that this feeling stays around – I know that need to make sure that it does and I beleive that the TI is / will have been the catalyst for that.

TI report

I sent my TI report to John but will post it here, too.

I traveled last weekend and was not able to fulfill all of my sitting commitments. I did sit both morning and night, but not the full amount of time. Being in the TI gave me the motivation to look for time for zazen, when it seems like there would be no time when you are a guest in someone's home with dogs,cats, extra people, and not much personal privacy. Well guess what, there is time. Maybe not an hour. But 20 minutes? Yes. Morning and night.

Interesting that back at home, I'm having a hard time getting the hour in the morning and tend to flip the deal - 30 min in morning and an hour at night. No small thing maybe but I think it reflects some rebellion on my part - trying to eck out some wriggle room in my commitment.

Not so bad...

So far the tough parts of the TI are opposite of what I expected... I have been "sitting more" and "rehearsing music without interuption" with ease. "Not listening to music or talking on my cell in the car" has proven to be more of an addiction withdrawal than I thought but it feels good to be sticking to my pledge. It has given me more time to focus on breathing (and driving). "Eating slower and with consideration" is something that I catch myself not doing but I'm happy to at least be aware of it. Overall I'm glad to have taken the TI on - it's long overdue!

Thanks!

Thanks for starting the blog (my first experience participating in one!) and for the support we are giving each other. I hope to develop a discipline that will last this TI, instead of my frequent pattern of stops and starts with effort. Sitting and exercise are my 2 committments, and if I keep to those I'm sure the rest of my life will benefit...

A solid start...

First off thanks for starting the blog - I think that this is a great way to keep in touch between TI meetings and remind me to stay focused! This summer my schedule seemed to crowd my zen time. Numerous times I deceived myself into thinking that not sitting during busy days was acceptable... but as we all know, that thought process couldn't have been more backwards. I am very much enjoying TI as a way to pull me back into a more deliberate discipline. It was great to see and hear so many people at the opening ceremony helped solidify my commitments.

Am not generally a "joiner". From years of sitting alone as an out of towner, am more comfortable with taking a pillow off on my own. From previous TIs, most "connection" to the TI arose from Roshi's weekly email comments; i.e., the experience of TI has been largely a solo, personal effort. So while not entirely sceptical about the value of a blog to the TI experience, I am watchful to keep TI about making the effort to meet the commitment and not about diluting the effort with chat about the effort.

Starting out uphill

I am traveling this weekend and anticipate having to pay attention to get my extra zazen on the travel zafu.

My commitment this TI is my usual - extra zazen. The difference this time is that I agreed to extra on a daily basis - no fair getting the hours in during a chunk on the weekend or at my convenience. Every. Day. 30. Minutes. At. Night. And no slouching on the "usual" hour in the a.m.

Thanks for setting up the blog!

Brenda

Square One

I made some interesting choices for the TI including a number of things that I was going "to do" and a number of things I was going to "not do." One of the "not do" things was "watch television" and to that end I have unplugged the main culprit. What fascinates me today is what happens to my typical/usual pattern of household circumambulations when these disciplined parameters have been set in place. Thus far, I've had a very interesting and productive day, not frantic and frivolously busy but things are getting done and I like that. I also made a commitment to eschew the easy chair in my living room in favor of a more ergonomically sensible but not so comfortable wooden model. This has required a re-organization of music stands and guitars and I am feeling a bit discombobulated at certain moments. The prevailingl feeling is that this is all good and is ultimately a part of and beneficial to my Zen practice.

Thanks to the folks that came up with the idea for the blog and did the work to set it in motion.

Helping shoulder the load...

For those of us who are...um...less than perfectly disciplined, shall we say, the arrival of a new Term Intensive is a BIG relief. We've got a list of things that we really truly have been meaning to do - sit more, or exercise every day, or drive more mindfully, or finally learn that part of the Daihishin Darani (the bit at the end with all the "somo kos" - you know the one I'm talking about) that's been bedeviling us for years - and it's a list that we know perfectly well we're not going to get done on our own. But with that TI opening ceremony, along comes a crowd of dharma friends ready to listen to our troubles, offer advice, swap stories, and help us do the things that we could never accomplish alone. It's magnificent.

So I'm intrigued by the possibilities of this blog as an addition to the process. As a local member, I get a big part of my TI support from our weekly meetings - being able to hear from people about what they're going through inspires me to work harder myself. But during the years when I was living out of town, I had to do without the live meetings, and I really missed them. Sure, you send your report in, and you get the meeting minutes back a few days later, but it just doesn't have the immediacy that those in-the-flesh encounters with your fellow TI-ers offer. I'm hoping that for the substantial number of out-of-town TI participants we've got this time around, this blog can be something a little more interactive and "live" than the back-and-forth of emailed reports. And for local members, this might provide a useful check-in point between meetings when inspiration flags.

It's a little different way of working, to be sure - but at its heart, it's just another way for us to help each other by shouldering a little of the load. Looking forward to it, guys.

Cecily

And suddenly its upon us

So, its time again to ramp up our practice as we take up this Fall 2008 Term Intensive. While the title “Term Intensive” may have somewhat of an academic ring to it, the spirit of this intensified practice period is nothing but academic! The goal is to really deepen our engagement with our practice and with each other. Roshi has said, the central pillar of this period of time is commitment. To be wholly committed is to give our all. Whatever we pledge this T.I., the important thing is not how much we choose to do, but how we fulfill those commitments.

The other opportunity that we are presented with is how we help each other during this time. It’s easy to simply show up and recite our commitments week after week. How do we keep our meetings together fresh and alive? To help with this process we are trying out this new blog. With any luck, it will facilitate some lively discussions. For those Sangha members out of town, hopefully, it will provide more of a bi-directional way of participating. So take advantage, and good luck on all of your commitments this Fall!

--Teshin